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David Schnarch. · Rating details · 2, ratings · reviews. Passionate Marriage is recognized as the pioneering book on intimate human relationships. PASSIONATE MARRIAGE: Keeping Love & Intimacy Alive in Committed In Passionate Marriage, Dr. David Schnarch organizes fourteen chapters into three . Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships By David Schnarch, Ph. D. Norton, pp. ISBN

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Both people are bringing new things in. If you are overreacting all the time to everything that’s going on, you aren’t going to have much of a self. We’ll split it between us! Even though I am single this book is a really good book as it goes through how to be “differentiated” in a committed relationship.

You can do it in one life. We need to reward and encourage it every way we can.

Dr. David Schnarch

So if I’m lucky, I’m watching now what Ruth and I will go through. We’re not in the morality business. As you become more involved, more invested, as both of you become better differentiated, and as you both become much more unique passionate and irreplaceable to each other, that that alone drives the process of differentiation.

I am clearly the most differentiated!! Having a solid and flexible self, what do you mean by that?

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships

In this episode of Insights at the Edge, David and I spoke about the relationship between differentiation and sexual satisfaction in committed relationships. When people masturbate they’re having a relationship with somebody in their head, maybe a brief encounter.

But for those willing to put the philosophy into practice, I suspect their relationships would change for the better. This calls into question the validity of the whole book. Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who is co-dependent, stubborn, bored or day-dreaming about sex with people outside their relationships. The Passionate Marriage approach although I think it applies across all relationships and not just marriage is that we must first validate and develop ourselves and only then can we truly experience the intimacy that we desire.


My parents just celebrated their 89th birthdays and they have been married for over 65 years. Why is it in your work that you have decided to focus on increasing sexual pleasure and fulfillment in committed relationships versus looking at it in just sexual interactions in an open way? This book preaches that maintaining status-quo in the comfort zone is a sure way to become bored. That’s what you find at the beginning of the sex-is-going-to-become-leftovers process.

A lot of people I see, they have a child who is mongoloid. Passionate Marriage helped me understand exactly how this can happen. The hallmark of a well-differentiated person is not like a knight in armor clanking around where they’re in this kind of carcass and they can’t move or change like a lobster.

Review quote “Schnarch takes the reader behind the scenes as couples describe similar feelings as well as their explicit sexual encounters during dramatic therapy sessions I would say that I wish I had read this book as a young adult, but I really don’t think I would have gotten much out of it.

Explore the Home Gift Guide. Letting your partner know that you really do see them as a separate entity from you is one of the best aphrodisiacs there is. Scharch’s two main points are 1 that self-soothing This is Schnarch’s attempt at merging marital and sex therapy. It’s a very determined decision. Want to Read saving…. Another reason I started working [with the idea of] sex in committed relationships is because the more I did work with couples, the more I saw that really emotionally committed relationships, particularly when it comes to sex, are people-growing machines.

Or your child gets ill. This is why I had to write Intimacy and Desire, because Intimacy and Desire is all about how the human brain and the sense of the human self evolved, and that [evolution] now shows up in the battles that couples have in their relationships today. But right from the beginning, the unreal horror of deciding about organ donation, cremation options, for someone who had been wholly and lovingly alive that morning So the hallmark of a well-developed person is not [just] a person who can stand on their own against pressure to conform and at the same time flex and bend when circumstances [require].


Having said that, I think that he includes those things in good faith from his point of view and not to be salacious. They’re contentious, they’re belligerent with each other. Trivia About Passionate Marria I was fascinated by some of the stories and the processes these couples had to work through to improve themselves in order to improve their marriages, only because I’ve worked through my own therapy process in the past for recovering from depression.

This book is about much more than sex, and can change your life profoundly, regardless of your relationship status. That was ten years ago. You might be very happy you did. And [it’s] is also what makes them have lots of interesting sex.

Passionate Marriage : Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships

If it’s not, you’re going to be a hurtin’ kitten. For instance, when couples are getting together, they never think they’ll have sexual desire problems. And that, mariage to my chagrin, pushes me to acknowledge what I have not been up to now. If I had had a child when I was younger, I don’t think Sarah would be the person that she is today.

Without a shred of a doubt, the best book on marriage out there. We want to go deeper.